Oct 9, 2019 | Podcast, The Living Room

016: Choosing to Forgive


“We are never more like Jesus than when we choose to forgive!” 

Forgiveness is the hardest thing we do, but it’s also the most important.  Jesus told us in Luke 17:1 that “it is impossible that no offenses should come.” Offenses in life are inevitable, but it is our response that determines our peace and freedom.  

More than anyone, Jesus understands our hurt and He cares about our pain. But He also knows that mismanaged hurt will destroy our lives. Forgiveness is the only path to healing – and we don’t have to do it alone. The Holy Spirit wants to help us. So whether you’ve been abused, violated, betrayed, abandoned, or slandered Jesus came to set you free!

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We’ll be discussing…

  • God takes forgiveness very seriously because He knows what it does to us.
  • Holding on to unforgiveness can lead to physical issues, depression, inability to love, a critical spirit, and more.
  • Unforgiveness is the “Bait of Satan,” according to John Bevere.
  • An unforgiving heart builds up walls that keep us from people and God.
  • If left unchecked, hurt turns into resentment, an offended spirit and a hardened heart. 
  • Forgiveness does not mean what the other person did no longer matters.
  • Forgiveness is resigning our position as judge, jury and executioner and handing it over to the only Righteous Judge.
  • Do what it takes to build the bridge on your side and leave the rest up to God.
  • Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice!
  • Jesus understands your hurt and He cares about your pain.

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  Matthew 6:14-15

Hammering Out Forgiveness 

  1. Take the situation to God and ask the Holy Spirit to help you forgive 
  2. Acknowledge the hurt – name the person, specific wrong, and how it made you feel 
  3. Choose to forgive (speak it out loud) and release the person/situation to God  
  4. Allow the cross to cancel the sin – just as it has canceled yours 
  5. Choose not to remember their sin against them (Hebrews 8:12)
  6. Repeat as many times as necessary 
  7. Ask the Lord if it’s something you need to address with the other person and for the grace to do it without anger, self-pity or pride 


  • The sting will lessen and eventually disappear 
  • The person’s name will be safe on your tongue 
  • They will have safe passage through your mind
  • You won’t drag old offenses into new ones
  • You will be changed as you forgive

"Forfgiveness is not a feeling...Forgiveness is a choice." Joanna Weaver - The Living Room Podcast 016

Additional Resources

The Bait of Satan by John Bevere 

Having a Mary Spirit: Allowing God to Change Us From the Inside Out

Victory Over Darkness by Neil Anderson  

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12 Steps to Forgiveness

Many of us carry deep hurts that we’ve held on to for too long. Let’s invite Jesus into our hurt and allow Him to change our hearts. SIGN UP to receive a FREE PRINTABLE of Neil Anderson’s “12 Steps to Forgiveness” filled with practical actions to help you live in the freedom Christ came to offer. 

I’d love to hear from you… How has God helped you to forgive? 

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