Feb 2, 2022 | Podcast, The Living Room

078: Finding the Hero in Your Husband with Dr. Juli Slattery


“The fairytale has to end for intimacy to begin!”

In this episode, clinical psychologist, Dr. Juli Slattery shares about marriage from the newest edition of her book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited: Embracing Your Power in Marriage. Many women begin their marriages with great expectations but struggle to know how to build the kind of relationship they long to have with their husbands.

As her own marriage has grown so has Juli’s passion for teaching God’s design for marriage, intimacy and sexuality. She addresses difficult and rarely discussed topics like disappointment in marriage, biblical submission and sexual intimacy.

When we give God access to our hearts, ambitions and expectations, He gives us the ability to build our marriages and use our power wisely. 

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Important Takeaways from Show

  • We fight against our husband’s growth when we try to force him to be who we think he needs to be
  • By nature, women want their husbands to be their hero and men want to be the hero
  • “Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter” – anonymous
  • Disappointment is a natural part of a marriage story
  • God gives both men and women power in the relationship and calls them both to use it wisely
  • Common Challenge – “I want my husband to lead but I want him to lead the way I tell him to”
  • Common Dilemma – “I want my husband to step up but I can’t get out of my own way”
  • Fear can drive us to use our power negatively
  • Love is a choice; true love perseveres even when it is not felt
  • Marriages are designed to represent the relationship between Christ and the Church
  • Have empathy for your husband
  • Remember you’re on the same team
  • God purposefully created our husbands differently than us and our children are better off because of those differences
  • Trust is a growing and changing component in a marriage
  • Forgiveness and grace are key to building intimacy
  • God can reclaim and redeem what has been broken and lost in our hearts
  • The most powerful wife on earth is the one who chooses to yield her power to build intimacy and grow her husband’s confidence
  • Submission is not the absence of power; it is the wise application of power
  • A husband’s great power is meant to be used to sacrificially love his wife like Jesus loves the Church

2 Needs Husbands Have that Give their Wives Power in the Marriage

  1. Respect – When it comes to your husband’s confidence, your words hold the power of life and death. Your husband is asking questions like “Am I enough?” “Do you believe in me”? and “Am I your hero?”
  2. Help – As their Helper we are called to address sin and issues with love as a sister in Christ

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

~ John 13:35

"Submission in marriage isn't the absence of power; instead, it is the wise application of power." Dr. Juli Slattery - The Living Room Podcast - TLR 078

Links from Show

Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited: Embracing Your Power in Marriage

Java with Juli Podcast 

Website for Christian Leaders on Navigating Sexual Issues 

[Disclosure: I make a small commission from affiliate links used in this post.]


Connect with Dr. Juli Slattery

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

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 Facebook | Pinterest | Instagram | Twitter


Subscribe & Get a Bible Reading Journal!

You can get your free “2022 Thru the Word” Journal by signing up in the form below.

The Bible reading journal features:

  • Instructions for using the journal – including tips for getting the most out of your Bible reading
  • Daily assignment schedule keeping you on pace to read the entire Bible in one year
  • Space to record your Bible reading highlights
  • Bonus: “Pray Every Day” pages to help you focus on a different part of your life each day


Hope You’ll Join Us…

Whether or not you take part in “2022 Thru the Word” on Facebook, you can still use the Bible Reading Journal. God longs to speak to us and I know He will meet you as you open His Word.

I’d love to hear from you… What spoke most to you from Dr. Juli’s interview?

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