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“What if we stopped saying, ‘Lord, change him’ and started praying, ‘Lord, change me’?”
If you’re like me, you may have entered into marriage with some false expectations and even found yourself thinking “he’s not the man I married!”
In this episode, my husband, John and I talk about embracing our differences rather than resenting them. As we begin to recognize and appreciate our spouse for who they are rather than trying to fit them into our mold and expectations, it frees both of us to become all God has created us to be.
Let’s choose to love each other fully, not for who we think the other person ought to be, but for who they are!
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We’ll be discussing…
- Embrace your differences as a gift rather than an issue
- We often expect our spouse will be like us or like our parent
- The way we want to be loved is not always the way our spouse wants to be loved
- Look for ways to work together on household chores rather than expect your spouse to do certain tasks a certain way
- Communicate your expectations to one another and be willing to listen and adjust
- Accept and love your spouse where he or she is rather than try to fix them
- Don’t allow the seed of discontent and disillusionment to destroy your love for your spouse
- Practice asking your spouse “What can I do to help you?”
- “God hasn’t called us to be successful, He’s called us to be faithful!” ~ Mother Teresa
- Make room for each other’s opinions
- Proverbs encourages us to seek the counsel of others and this includes our spouse (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 24:6)
- Mutual Submission – when you don’t agree on a decision, choose to wait and go to prayer
- God created woman as helper/helpmeet, meaning “one who gives an answer” (Genesis 2:18)
- Women, your opinions matter and can give great counsel, but were never meant to rule your husband
- Become a student of your spouse and learn how to love them best
Balancing Marriage, Family and Ministry
- Make room for your spouse to have a personal walk with Jesus
- When you intentionally love God with all your heart first, you’ll have love for your spouse, kids and the church
- Ministry follows family
- Be fully present wherever you are (church, home, etc…)
- You are never called to ministry at the expense of your family
- Be the same person everywhere you go
- Set your personal and family priorities, being careful not to overcommit to too many activities
- There will be seasons where ministry will require extra and that is ok, but don’t allow that to be the norm
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. ~ Ephesians 5:21-25
Additional Resources
016: Choosing to Forgive | The Living Room
025: The Gospel-Centered Enneagram with Beth McCord | The Living Room
026: The Art of Becoming Us with Beth McCord | The Living Room
Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage by Beth McCord
Having a Mary Spirit: Allowing God to Change Us From the Inside Out
TDF Inventory – Cognitive Process – (I think is the test we took)
Previous Blog: The Gift of Marriage
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